Horror Quick-Bits: Vol 2

Time for another round of quick-bit reviews on several genre films:

12 Days of Terror-

This here is an absolutely paltry and worthless horror effort that really has almost no business being called a horror film. The biggest issue with this one is that the majority of the film's running time is devoted to the different people around the town trying to understand why the beast is around and whether it should be considered an emergency big enough to actually get others involved despite the hero protesting, and rightly so, about what's going on to the oblivious folks in charge about the severity of the situation, especially after there have been several attacks. This is a consequence of the film's origin, trying to remain true to the real-life story so this one gives off a pretty boring feel during these parts and which turns out to drag the film along into endless loops of him running to everyone hoping to get a different answer to his requests which halts the plot pretty significantly. There's some decent stuff here, though, in the attacks which remain true to the original story in getting kids attacked by the creature so this one has several scenes of kids being attacked with effort made to show them interact with the shark prop and have a limb or body part shown in its mouth, as well as shots of their mutilated and gnawed bodily aftermath which is nicely commendable. However, even that is somewhat problematic with the attacks being edited in such a haphazard way as to make it impossible to determine what's going on and thus not getting any thrills out of it. Packaged together with a decidedly lame pace that even glosses over a possible plethora of action scenes with the town out hunting the creature which is instead given as a narrated montage that turns the scene more boring and dull than it really should've been, overall this is a really bland, banal shark horror.

Absentia-

This was an absolutely dreadful and utterly terrible horror effort which has barely anything about it worthwhile. Most of the problems here come from the complete and utter lack of any horror activity in the beginning half here, which is played off as a mystery/drama mixture with the disappearance taken precedent in the story. The scenes of the poster collection, the sisters bonding again and the legal matters that are followed through all comprise the first forty minutes here which in turn allows the film to move along at a dreadful, boring pace go through these scenes that aren't scary in the slightest. The main factor of keeping it down is the pace, making it so low-key and quiet that very little resonates as scary or thrilling with no excitement or fear built up in here, and the scenes just running through the neighborhood tunnel or the requirements necessary to do that in real life just showcase a bland, uninteresting tempo that beyond the horror of the realistic scenario is just agonizingly dull. While an attempt is made to set-up the tunnel as something creepy, it just doesn't come off that well-done at all as it appears more like a dark tunnel instead and a much better case actually gets made for the tunnel's creepiness through the revelation of the historical incidents that happened there than anything else actually done on-screen with the location. That leads into the one big horror scene of his abduction from the house by the strange creature dragging along the ceiling and back into the tunnel where he disappears again. Even still, it's not a good horror scene as this is told as a silent flashback that never shows anything, features no gore, no scares or even any creepy moments. It gets slightly better when it turns back into a horror film until the last ten minutes as it becomes apparent something's going on with the chilling insect noises in the walls and the different recollections of their encounter there, but in the end there's just not enough to get over the flaws here and leaving this one to be a total bore.

A Cadaver Christmas-

This turned out to be quite an enjoyable and cheesy zombie effort. One of the biggest pluses here is the fact that there's a rather enjoyable atmosphere created from the goofy action presented. There's some rather enjoyable material to be found here as the plot allows this ample opportunities to get rather silly at times where the groups' bumbling nature in regards to both offensive and defensive tactics against the zombies gets rather silly at times, utilizing mops and brooms for offense, slipping and sliding on blood-soaked hallways and using everything from desks and notebooks to provide a barrier against the encroaching hordes and the over-the-top nature here keeps this one quite enjoyable. Combined along with the jokes and word-play present, this one has more laughs than expected though this one never forgets to have a hand in the scares which are what allows this one to keep the zombies as threats. They're the slow, shuffling variety which keeps the factor here based on the overall number of creatures there swarming around them as they fight them off, resulting not only in pretty enjoyable scenes but also plenty of action within as the group has plenty of time to fight them off. This also adds some pretty decent amounts of gore to the proceeds, and while these make for some rather entertaining measures, it does have a few flaws in that the comedic nature wears thin after a while with some of the jokes losing their luster and the whole enterprise being loaded by a rather preposterous storyline that gets almost no fleshing out and remains ludicrous upon scrutiny. Otherwise, there's a whole lot to like here.

A Haunting at Silver Falls-

This is a rather enjoyable enough Lifetime Channel ghost story even if it's pretty familiar and generic most of the time. As far as these general types of 'Righting Wrong' style of ghost movies go, where they appear to someone in a plea to fix a mistake seen by many in the community who are grossly misled by the real perpetrators or part of it themselves, the horror comes from the fact that there's plenty of ghostly encounters out of nowhere or strange shocks that come up, but then drop off in order to invest in the mystery surrounding everything and finally at the end bring everything to a conclusion. That's how this one plays out, and it certainly hits those familiar notes quite well and often in the beginning which usually pulls out the clichéd notion of the victim thinking they've gone crazy constantly seeing ghosts everywhere which does make for this one being so run-of-the-mill and ordinary during this main section of the film. That the mystery this one becomes embroiled in has a pretty gruesome story at the center of it all does help the middle going while the teens investigate this and hold off the ghostly encounters until the end when the real culprit comes forward and centers the film around that new-found angle and brings back the ghostly happenings in a fun if admittedly dry finale. There's not a whole lot of real true horror in this one in terms of bloodletting, gore, dead bodies or such as the ghosts' preference is to help initiate the investigation into why they're there and killing off the one who'll do that won't help matters, so as long as that factor isn't an issue, this is a fine effort.

Knock Knock 2-

This here was one of the worst genre examples in this class and really has very little redeeming value. Most of this is based on the fact that there's just nothing happening in this one. The idea behind the film is quite cool and unique, but the fact that there's just endless, endless scenes of the group wandering around the house with the first-person perspective, based on the fact that this is a found-footage film, means that what little there is to actually be entertained by is so hard to make-out and realize what it is that it just becomes all the more confusing and disorienting about what's happening, rendering the effect completely moot and disastrous. Even still, the fact that nothing happens here is the biggest obstacle that really can't redeem the film because it can't offer up any real scares or potentially chilling moments based on the fact that the whole film is centered around the fact that it can't offer up any scares or thrills to overcome the limitations of the genre which results in keeping the camera pointed away from whatever is supposed to terrify us only to turn back and see nothing, shaking camera shots that are so blurry you can't tell what's going on, countless times where the safety of their well-being is forsaken for getting the camera to record it all and just so much blandness about what's going on with them that this becomes a chore to sit through and a boring effort once it gets going. The one thing that does work somewhat well here is the fact that the central premise for their trip is quite ingenious and really should be used in other efforts since there's some potential for some really chilling moments in a story like this should it get in a film that really deserves it, but by doing nothing with it as it is really just underscores how futile and wasted this one is.

A Little Bit Zombie-

This here turned out to be quite an entertaining and enjoyable zombie comedy with so many fun and funny moments. The fact that the infection is so early in the film makes the fact that he's resisting for so long the central point in generating the comedy as he can't act like a typical human due to the presence of the infection, yet that infection is causing him to produce more zombified activity that a normal human wouldn't consider, and thus generates some outstanding comedy. From the interaction with the rabbit, the group forced to buy animal brains to get him to eat at a meat-processing plant and the absolutely gut-busting antics of the group being okay with his zombified behavior as it allows them to basically treat him like a human crash test dummy for their own amusement, and it's just so hilarious that the premise is allowing this kind of activity to occur by itself is enough to make the movie worthwhile. While the early parts of him trying to hold it in for his wife's sake and the general disgust amongst the friends towards her for treating him like that are funny in their own right, it's really at the end where it gets really funny. The confrontation with the hunters packs the film's only real gory moments in some fantastic head-shots and blood-splatter, the fact that it's not in that mode at all might be quite a disappointment for some looking for a funny-yet-over-the-top zombie comedy, the fact that it's got the courage to only feature a few of them while concentrating only on the comedy of the premise rather than delve into the conventions of the genre makes for a good time all around.

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